Ranking the Premier League, 10th - 1st

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9. Newcastle kits are from Adidas. To Americans who have grown up watching American NFL Football—the well known Newcastle kits look just like what the American referees wear. However, there are plenty of well-known European clubs that sport the classic black and white vertical stripes. The Stripe happy Adidas brand is the perfect sponsor. I like the solid black on the back that makes the player numbers look better. Of course there are the three typical stripes along the top of the shoulders. Not so keen on the light blue trim, but it’s not too shabby. The away kits are considerably more dull. The same light blue from the home kits is the primary color. There are some dark blue highlights around the chest and sides. Dunno. It’s just kind of drab. The crest is okay with the two horses around the striped shield. The sponsor, Northern Rock, has a logo that’s passable, but it does not make me want to rush out and get insurance—but then again, if I knew what design logo would cause me to switch insurance providers I’d make a fortune.

8. Arsenal. Made by Nike. After last year’s experiment with maroon kits Arsenal has gone back to their traditional red kits with white sleeves and some gold stripes. I find their cannon crest pleasant enough. Matched with the white shorts their home kits slightly edge out ManU because of the white sleeves, but they are almost as dull. The away kits, white with maroon trim are not appealing to me at all because I don’t like maroon. As for their Air Emirates sponsor, I like the font a bit. It’s one of the better-looking sponsor logos in the Premiership.

Liverpool Home

6. Fulham. Lots of Americans on this team so it’s only appropriate that they are sponsored by Nike. I think the personnel director has his TV satellite dish set to only pick up US National team and MLS games or something. Dull white home kits—even with the collars, but, the red & black vertical striped away kits are very nice, and that bumps them up quite a bit. Their crest says… FFC. Way to go guys-- really creative there. LG Electronics sponsor them, and similar to Spurs, the sponsor’s logo really stands out against the plain white home kit. As the relegation zone is looming this season, any fans of these Nike kits should enjoy them while they can.

5. Blackburn Rovers kits are brought to us by Umbro. They have a somewhat unique kit for the Premiership with it being divided vertically half blue and half white, with a bit of red trim here and there. The away kit is half red and half black with white trim. Points for the half and half, but once again we have blue and white, so the home kit is slightly less dull. I do like the away kit’s colors. Strong! The rose crest? I don’t mean to insult any old royal bloodlines, but it’s dull as dishwater, and their sponsor, Bet24, might have the lamest insignia in the Premiership. Even if I like the kits themselves, the rose crest and Bet24 logo—with its orange/yellow fade thing going on totally detract from the overall look.

Aston Villa Home

3. Portsmouth has a new kit sponsor this year: Canterbury, mostly famous for their omnipresence in classic Rugby shirts. In the mid 80’s I thought that Canterbury rugby shirts were the coolest things ever. I believe the brand with three kiwis has done a fine job. Royal blue (yawn), some white piping, and a bit of gold trim on the home kit—with three light blue dots on each sleeve and on the side of the rib cage that surely make the player run that much faster. Away kits are white with a slightly different pattern across the chest, and the some of the same gold trim. Usually I gravitate towards the kits of Nike, Adidas and Puma because they (probably) have the most people working round the clock designing new kits, cleats, and everything to bilk me of as much of my money as possible. This Portsmouth kit by Canterbury looks sharp. I like their crest as well—even if it does look like Turkey’s flag rotated 90 degrees with different colors. Obviously there is some different symbolism there… Sponsored by OKI printing solutions. Great.

2. West Ham has the same colors as Aston Villa, but they are sponsored by Umbro, so the kit has the slightly more complicated “Umbro” look with the quasi epilates in white contrasting nicely with the maroon and light blue. White shorts as well. A nice looking kit that I think has a slight edge over Aston Villa. Away kit is rather conventional, but not bad or anything. The West Ham crest with the two hammers is cool enough. Having a nickname of “the Hammers” worked for MC Hammer there for a while, but it has not helped the Hammers in the past few decades. Sponsored by XL.com, an English travel booking site. I think their font is okay, but Seeing a big XL splashed on the chest of all the West Ham players makes me think “extra large” which goes nowhere for me.

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So there you have it. Note the muted enthusiasm. I like some of these kits for sure, but nothing really knocks my socks off. Since uniform manufacturers and teams are keen on fleecing fans of as much money as possible there will surely be more than a few new kit designs next season which I will dutifully cover. The next columns will cover the Spanish league uniforms in the same manner. I’d be happy to hear from any kit enthusiasts at chris.ketcham@gmail.com.