EPL Kits 2008-09

After the summer break, we’re back here at Kit Aesthetics. For anyone that was paying attention, this column’s favorite uniform from the Euros, Spain, actually won the tournament. Not really sure what that means, but what a nice uniform!

For the 2008-2009 campaign I’m going to go back to some of the major international football leagues to track the changes in the kit designs. Of course there are also the newly promoted teams from the championship to consider—briefly.

Arsenal.The big exciting news is that they have switched their home kits from the all-white sleeves to leaving a bit of red on them and, along with some black piping, they continue to look pretty sharp (even if I can never really go for the v-neck line). I think this is a step up, but over the dog days of summer I have seen enough boring 70’s FA Cup highlight reels to understand that Arsenal has a long history with white sleeves. To that I say: whatever. Let’s see if they can manage to hold their nerve and perform better this season. No other way to say it: the away kit is awesome. They are back to yellow… with blue sleeves. Check out that red stripe along the arm! That’s what we like here at K.A.

Aston Villa. Last year they were a top contender for my favorite EPL uniform, but their dumb looking betting sponsor’s logo of  32Red.com cost them. This year there has been a dramatic reversal of fortune. Why you ask? Well, apparently a large corporate conglomerate of powerful squirrels and/or oak trees has taken over principle sponsorship of the team. They now have the word “acorns” splashed across their chests. Check out the home kit. I love acorns too. Good food for squirrels and birds, baby trees come from them and they remind me of my favorite season, the fall. Actually, joking aside, Aston Villa is taking a page from Barcelona supporting UNICEF and taking a decidedly non-cynical approach to their uniform sponsorship. Acorns is a children’s hospice that the Aston Villa players got quite into—and now they really want to go that extra step to get the hospice more recognition. Go Aston Villa!

The Blackburn Rovers home kit for this season has not changed very much overall but if one looks closely they might notice diagonal sublimated stripes. They've changed their away kit from the halved red and black uniforms of last season to a more serene navy blue with some stripes . I am happy to report that the gross looking lame Bet 24 logo is no longer the main sponsor. It's now Crown Paint. Times must be tough in the corporate sponsorship world if it's a paint company that has the most pull, but then again with a new manager comes a new look (or something).

Bolton. Last year this team had THE most boring uniforms. This year there have been improvements—they have upgraded from boring to moderately ugly. Reebok has decided to add this odd shoulder harness-like graphic. Whatever it is supposed to be it looks better. A bit of restrained dark blue and red will always help a plain white home kit. I am more impressed with the away kit. It looks like yellow is the new black or something, because, like Arsenal, the away kit is primarily yellow. I can’t tell if the shoulder thing is blue and looks green due to it being next to the yellow. Hopefully some of the money that Bolton made selling Nicolas Anelka to Chelsea will allow them to get some new servers because their website is slooooow.

Chelsea are one of those well-known clubs that have to cater to the fact that they are very much tied to their home uniforms. This year’s home kit is no exception. I like the collar and the gold trim. It’s a solid-looking kit, now we get to see how their new coach fares. The away kit is very sedate. It does not even look much like a soccer uniform—more of a jogging suit top or something. Note that Chelsea’s third jersey is also yellow, and likely stolen from some Swede.

Everton, like Chelsea, have to have bold (boring) all-blue home shirts. This season is no different. If you bothered to read my column about the uniforms of last season I went off on a tangent over Chang beer and its neat logo. Since they are still the sponsors, I would like to mention one of their Asian competitors, Tiger Beer, another simple lager that goes down smooth in the summer. Tiger Beer! The away kits look pretty cool. White with black and gray stripes—and the Chang logo in green. I like how that all works together, so good job Everton.

Fulham managed to stay up, so good for them. Can’t say that this year’s home uniforms are really that swell. Lots of the same old same old, and with the away kits I always prefer the horizontal stripes to the vertical ones, so this is a step backwards. Still, the kits are fairly sharp overall, and hey, they managed to escape relegation. Always important to keep things in perspective. Better to stay in the Premiership another season than have a uniform that Kit Aesthetics likes.

This will be the first time that Hull City is in top the top flight. Chances are they probably won’t remain up for too long, but hot damn! Look at that home kit!!! [Okay, please ignore how it looks vaguely inappropriate on that clear model thing that has no crotch] Now there are some things that I like more than others, and black and yellow strips and tigers are both pretty high up on my ‘like these things more than others’ list. The away kit, despite the cool little team crest, is weak. Apparently the “KAROO” on the front of the home kit refers to the name of the web portal for the area of Hull and the East Riding of Yorkshire. I don’t know how much it costs to sponsor a chest logo on the front of a newly-promoted premiership side, but if some regional web portal can do it then I should start looking into a Kit Aesthetics/ Albion Road sponsor deal…

Liverpool. Guess what? Their 2008/2010 home kits are still red! If you notice, the inside collar also has a checkerboard pattern and some text that will surely cause a proud tear to well up in a Scouser’s eye. Once again, I’m sure there is some silly explanation for that. The only other reason I can think of is when the chaps exchange jerseys after a game and want to impress the other team. The Nike Arsenal and Barcelona kits do this same thing. The new away kits for Liverpool raise some eyebrows—at least one, if not two. Gray sublimated checkerboard with red trim (?). I don’t really think of gray as a primary color for a soccer jersey in England. I mean—it gets pretty rainy there no? Maybe it will be the perfect camouflage. I read that it harkens back to their winning strips in the FA Cup. Ah retro, you never fail me.

Man City’sbiggest news has other news all around it. No more Swedish coach—so they grab Mark Hughes from Blackburn… then their owner’s dubious legal status and financial shenanigans are back in the forefront. I was chatting with Mr. AR himself about this. Jeremy brought up this simple fact: if a Prime minister is overthrown by an only slightly less corrupt military—why has he been deemed a suitable owner of an EPL team? Mark Hughes must feel like a heel after going to a club that was supposed to allow him to throw around money. One can see that their newfound fiscal responsibility in their lame uniforms for the season sponsored, once again, by Le Coq Sportif. Don’t be fooled by that little white stripe on the left shoulder; the home jersey is markedly dull. Is the away uniform any better? Judging by the expression on the Man City player, the answer is clearly “no,” but last season you may recall that they had a gross purple shirt. This is a step up from that.

Man U appears to have the same home uniform as last season?!? I would have thought that one of the worlds’ most well known clubs would gladly stick it to supporters that feel compelled to annually purchase new kits, but that is not the case. I guess after they won the Premiership and the Champions League they won’t mess with success. But what’s this? Ah yes. The away kit. White with blue and a bit of red. I guess they will wear this kit to allow all their top players to show off their garishly colored footwear.

Middlesbrough is still around. What can I say about the home kit that is not wonderfully summed up in this picture from the team website? It’s the old white stripe across the chest on a red shirt. Dull and effective—just like the team. The season’s new away shirt puts the tried and true Inter Milan colors to good use. I like how their red and white shield crest sticks out against the blue and black background, but I don’t think it’s magically going to transform their game.

Newcastle, just like Man U, is using the ‘two season’ plan for their uniforms, and that means that they have the same black and white striped home uniforms they always have. Don’t really have anything to add about that shirt. The away kits have changed— a nice dark blue with white trim. This falls back into the old ‘simple and effective’ category.

Portsmouth have new kits this season. I liked the ones from last season, so this year is a bit of a letdown, but the home kits are all well and good. It’s too bad they don’t have any extra fancy sports jersey technology that will make Peter Crouch look less gangly. The new away shirt is a bit odd looking to me somehow—does it look more like a cricket uniform or something? I find it a little unsettling.

Stoke City—welcome to the Premiership! With the financial windfall you have just received, please hire somebody to help your terrible online team store and their distorted picture thumbnails. Here are some blurry shots of the home kit. Even though I tent to harp on red and white shirts with vertical stripes this one is not too bad. In the continuing trend of poorly photographed players looking like hoodlums I present these pictures of Stoke City’s away kit. Lighten up kid! If you play well enough you might get scooped up by one of the big boys.

Sunderland and their red and white vertical stripes return for the new season on the home kit. The away kit for 08/09 has a new color scheme. Like Middlesborough they have the Inter Milan blue and black vertical stripes—okay maybe that’s a navy blue and a royal blue, but not too many people can tell from far away. It’s too bad they have Boyles Sports as their sponsor instead of Pirelli.

Tottenham…Spurs have been one of those flashy signing clubs that make a lot of noise but never seem to get any additional silverware in their cupboard. Maybe it’s because of their uninspired uniforms.  White and the dark blue trim again for the home kit. Sky blue for the away kits, which isn’t so bad with the Chinese characters, but the shorts are the same color. Lots of sky blue out there. Normally I like Puma uniforms, but the uninspired home and away spurs shirts make me want to take a nap.

West Bromwich Albion. Here at Kit Aesthetics headquarters (a soulless office cube) one can usually tell a little bit about the fate of a newly promoted club from the cut of their uniforms. Hence it was not much of a surprise to me last season when Derby Country had the most disastrous Premiership campaign of all time. To relive my amazingly hilarious observation, it looked like someone ordered their kits out of a catalog and sewed on an emblem. The Derby County of 2008/09 looks like it’s West Brom. Their home uniforms have that catalog & sewing machine look. Simple and effective dark blue and white vertical stripes. The away kits are almost a tragic afterthought. Did they steal that design from a referee?

West Ham had the distinct honor of being last year’s second favorite home shirt. (Mind you, last year’s #1 kit belonged to Reading, and look what happened to them!)  Now I like the front of the new home kits just fine, and the well-known odd color combo is interesting, but what the heck is up with that crap on the back? Are they supposed to be turtles? Eagles? What? I know it won’t look quite as dumb with a number slapped over the top, but that is just bizarre. I love the look of the away shirts this season, with that ‘so bad it’s good’ type look. Still the weird ribbed back panel thing is rubbish.

Wigan Athletic managed to finish lower-mid table last season, and got no help from their flaccid uniforms. They have spiced up their kits just a tad this season. Check out their old kit sponsor’s logo. Their 2008/2009 home kits have the amazing new 3-D like logo. Pretty slick right? No? Yeah. I guess not. They also switched from Umbro to Champion as their kit manufacturer. Not much of an upgrade. The other odd thing is that they have entirely changed their badge. Go back to that old design and look at it. This is the old one, and this is the new one. I like the old one. More ornate, and if you’re a dull, mid-table club like Wigan, you need all the pizzazz you can get. For the 2008/2009 away kits, The Latics have also borrowed the “ref shirt design” concept from their friends at West Brom. Notice how the badge is not even multi-colored? That cost-saving move has probably allowed them the chance to hire one extra grounds keeper or something. Smart move Wigan Athletic! Huzzah!

Kit Aesthetics is a column by Chris Ketcham about football kits - the good, the bad and the (very) ugly. He can be reached at chris.ketcham@gmail.com.